002 ♔ and this is where you and I--
Feb. 9th, 2009 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
britanniumI wrote this ~essay~ on memories the other day. :D It was written in the style of Shige's Myojo essays (at least, the translations I've seen of them), which is very new to me but I think it turned out well. I'm very happy with it~
I once read that for the living, it is their burden to remember. And maybe it's true. Being able to remember the happy memories is nice, but you can't only remember the good ones.
Recently, my memory hasn't been very good at all. And--it makes me really...sad.
The other day, I complained to a friend about how I wasn't doing as well in school because I couldn't remember things as well anymore. And it's true; I can't even remember what I wrote in my notes yesterday.
Although, in reality, that isn't the toughest part.
When I turned fourteen, I went to a concert of a band I really liked back then. And I had a really good time, too. But, when I got home that evening, I didn't remember much of it. Or, rather, I could only remember bits and pieces, small flashes of a few seconds each. But never anything substantial, never anything whole. I blamed it on the excitement at the time.
Last week, though, I was packing up after school and remembered that I had to put something in my bag. I did, and when I got home I went to take it out. But it wasn't there. I looked everywhere in my backpack, even in my room. I was really close to sending out an email to my friends saying to look out for it too, because I was sure I'd forgotten it at school. Then, I went down to get a drink, and by change I looked in my lunchbag. And it was there, sitting at the bottom.
At first, I was relieved, because that meant I hadn't lost it after all. Then I remembered that it shouldn't have been there in the first place. "I was sure I'd put it in my backpack," I'd told myself.
And things like this happen more than I would like to admit. I've forgotten my pencil case, my glasses, my gym clothes at home, even after seeing them in the morning and saying to myself, "Don't forget to bring this."
It's not forgetting the schoolwork that bothers me. I can still study; that's something that I still have.
It's forgetting what I said two seconds before, forgetting things I meant to bring, forgetting what happened in the morning by lunch, forgetting what people have just told me. Forgetting dates that were important, forgetting objects that were important. Forgetting memories--good or bad--that were important, no matter how much I would like to hang on.
No matter how much I would like to keep them in my heart.
What do you think is truly worse? Remembering everything until the end, or forgetting it all just as soon as it happens?
started, finished 090209.
I once read that for the living, it is their burden to remember. And maybe it's true. Being able to remember the happy memories is nice, but you can't only remember the good ones.
Recently, my memory hasn't been very good at all. And--it makes me really...sad.
The other day, I complained to a friend about how I wasn't doing as well in school because I couldn't remember things as well anymore. And it's true; I can't even remember what I wrote in my notes yesterday.
Although, in reality, that isn't the toughest part.
When I turned fourteen, I went to a concert of a band I really liked back then. And I had a really good time, too. But, when I got home that evening, I didn't remember much of it. Or, rather, I could only remember bits and pieces, small flashes of a few seconds each. But never anything substantial, never anything whole. I blamed it on the excitement at the time.
Last week, though, I was packing up after school and remembered that I had to put something in my bag. I did, and when I got home I went to take it out. But it wasn't there. I looked everywhere in my backpack, even in my room. I was really close to sending out an email to my friends saying to look out for it too, because I was sure I'd forgotten it at school. Then, I went down to get a drink, and by change I looked in my lunchbag. And it was there, sitting at the bottom.
At first, I was relieved, because that meant I hadn't lost it after all. Then I remembered that it shouldn't have been there in the first place. "I was sure I'd put it in my backpack," I'd told myself.
And things like this happen more than I would like to admit. I've forgotten my pencil case, my glasses, my gym clothes at home, even after seeing them in the morning and saying to myself, "Don't forget to bring this."
It's not forgetting the schoolwork that bothers me. I can still study; that's something that I still have.
It's forgetting what I said two seconds before, forgetting things I meant to bring, forgetting what happened in the morning by lunch, forgetting what people have just told me. Forgetting dates that were important, forgetting objects that were important. Forgetting memories--good or bad--that were important, no matter how much I would like to hang on.
No matter how much I would like to keep them in my heart.
What do you think is truly worse? Remembering everything until the end, or forgetting it all just as soon as it happens?
started, finished 090209.
